Why not grow yourself a brand new wife? This great novelty gift will grow up to 600% its original size when placed in water. Just look at the benefits;
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She never has a headache
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She won't run up your credit card
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She never bothers you during the game
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She won't get fat
Simply place your new wife in water and within 2 hours she will start to magically grow. Once removed from water she will slowly shrink back to her original size - and can be grown again and again.
